Why did I Missed a Blog Post?
I’ve been working hard to try to set up a routine for the blog. I am the very perfectionist kind of person that writes down all the goals for the week and expects to accomplish all of them. At the same time, I can really get out of focus. I don’t really know what goes on with me sometimes and why I get distracted, but a small thing can make me loose my way! And you know what, that actually annoys me a lot!
For the past weeks, I have turned off my phone, shut down Facebook and simply worked my but off to put things out. I was doing quite well. I had posts in advance, option of pictures to schedule to Instagram, I was learning new things each day. I was almost tapping myself on the back and getting proud!
However, there are days where you get up from bed and things don’t go right. Even if you try, they just go wrong. It will probably sound confusing, as my mind got a bit confused with all this, but I will try to put my feelings in order. Because, although you know what you have to do, sometimes things just don’t seem to fit or don’t look good enough.
And that is one of my major problems. Most of the times, I don’t think I am doing my best and I really get hard on me. For the past two weeks we had a very nice time. My dad was over for a few days, then he traveled and then he came back again before going home. I couldn’t be happier of having family over and I am very grateful that he can come up to visit us that often!
On the other hand, I am my worst enemy. I want to do everything at once and I want it to be perfect. After 20 years, I still struggle with my own self. I had a gastrites when I was just 13. My body couldn’t take it anymore and was claiming for help! Although, I do know how to control it to keep my stomach of suffering, on the past year, I had developed a stress allergy. This sounds like a drama post, I know. But why am I telling you all of this? Why am I sharing something so personal with you?
Because I could just pretend that nothing happened! Probably, nobody would notice a missing post or wait! Maybe, people haven’t even really notice, as I am a small blog. So, I could just get back today, put a scheduled post out and relax.
That would be much easier, wouldn’t it? No, because that wouldn’t be me. I always like to do things right and that wouldn’t make things better, neither I would feel better! As everyone else out there, I’m here to evolve in life. So if I have the chance to come here and share some words to other people that might go through something similar to me, I will get those lemons and do a lemonade!
So going back a bit, last Wednesday when I sat down and did not manage to find anything that would really make me happy to be published on Friday, tears came down of frustration. Frustration is an awful feeling and even though, I do know I should not put such pressure on myself, I do it all the time.
The good part is that talking about it has helped me deal with it better. Although, dealing with it does not mean I manage to avoid it of happening. But after a long conversation with my husband, one of the things he told me was: ‘sit down, go deep to your heart and find out why it happens’! Oh boy… and that is what I did!
Learning how to work in a new business can be very overwhelming and in my heart, I do know that I have been trying to do my best. You know… I have never been the smartest kid in class, but I have always worked very hard to accomplish everything I wanted. Actually, I had several issues in school. Not with teachers, not with friends, but with myself. Thanks God I was in a school with teachers that cared and that would give their time to stay with me after class. And, in addition to that, having the chance to do psychodrama sessions with other children, was what really helped me to improve and get going!
Moreover, maybe that’s why since I was a child people have put high expectations on me. Because even with all my struggles, they would see me trying, they would see that in one way or the other, I would make things happen. They would see that I would never give up easily.
Having to be perfect in everything I do can be a quality, but a huge defect too. Probably I will still struggle other times with this, but years of therapy have helped me to realize – in my rational side – that I don’t need to reach everybody’s expectations, because mine are high enough. On my very first post at the blog, I said that I hoped that writing would help me not get to hard on me. And I still do!
Having ups and downs in this new life of mine has been a learning. So if you are out there struggling with yourself, remember that you are not alone. My intention with the blog has always been to share love, inspire people and help them to have a happier lifestyle. I try to do it through my pictures and posts.
So having that in mind made me share all of this with you! Not that I intend to be putting drama posts out all the time, but I believe that to inspire people and to share love, can’t only be done with pretty pictures and a – supposedly – glamours life.
Accept and work on our limitations; listen to our heart and respect our low moments, are things that I will always believe that makes us come up stronger to continue our journey!
Lili is half Peruvian, half Brazilian, a dreamer Pisces kind of girl, curious, life lover and travel addicted! She`s been to 53 countries, loves to explore different cultures and to travel to the most unusual destinations. Currently lives in Finland, is a monthly columnist for the website Brasileiras pelo Mundo (a Brazilian platform of expat women) and founder of Hey, I am Lili. She believes that the most important things in life are to laugh out loud, a good wine and people she loves always around anywhere in this world!